On the Carpet:

Thanks, Dad, For Not Killing Me


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                        Me, Ryan, Dad

When I totalled my first car…

When I suggested that by totalling this car, I’d done us both a favor (it was a used Chevy Citation. I had a strong argument, but the timing was poor…)…

When I made a Ryan-sized hole in a newly renovated basement wall…

When I (we) covered up the hole with a painting, delaying discovery for months…

When I said something aggravating more than a few times…

When I told you about that bad radiator after I drove for 8 hours getting home from college, using a roadside break every half hour and heat all the way on…

When you figured out just how often I was setting off Ryan for my own amusement…

When I dropped a full college scholarship… twice!

And to think I mostly managed to cover my tracks quite well! At the time I thought of it as considerate…

Ah, memories!

Thanks, Dad, for not killing me all those times it could be argued I’d earned exactly that.

Thanks!

Karma’s coming, of course.

Your granddaughter Lily’s ten…

She’ll bring me my payback soon enough.

So it goes, so it goes.

About Big Red Carpet Nurse (1750 Articles)
Along with other stuff I enjoy that pays the bills (a plus!), I'm a budding nurse comic. I plan, like fake Opthomologist Rand Paul, to create my own professional organization solely so it will grant me a Doctorate. In my case, the org will be something like the AANC (American Association of Nurse Comics), and it will (trust me on this point) agree to make me the first ever DNC: Doctor of Nurse Comedy. I'll keep you posted!

2 Comments on Thanks, Dad, For Not Killing Me

  1. I love it! I’m surprised you survived!

    Liked by 1 person

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